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日期:2011-03-30 18:10:42

那段时间,我唯一能做的就是装模作样坐在教室里,外表一如既往地平静,内心的煎熬唯有我才知道。

我面对一大堆的练习题茫然失措,脑海里全是回忆。

是的,是回忆。

我像一个历经沧桑,年岁已去的老人,开始了漫漫无止境的回忆,我的童年,我的少年,我正在经历着的惨淡的青春,一切都那么让人伤感无助。

我敏感又细腻的内心深度地体验着我认为毫无光亮的人生,这样的体验像一根钢针,直达灵魂最深处,越用力越痛楚。

所以我因此忘了外界,只活在钢针的针尖上,只在感觉的最深处。

日期:2011-04-01 16:03:38

某一天,我突然收到五姐的一封信。一向惜字如金的五姐很少跟家里联系,也很少给我写信。

这次特别不同,是一封厚厚的信,长达八页。

信的内容大致是告诉我如何复习,如何合理安排时间,如何调节情绪。最后还有她的许多对生活的感受,从来没有跟我讲过的感受,还有对社会对世界的看法以及对人生的感悟。洋洋洒洒,千言万语,甚至还大段大段引用了《简爱》里面主人公的经典对白,并且用了中英文版,告诉我如何保持一颗自尊的心。

Do you think, because I am poor, obscure, plain, and little, I am soulless and heartless? You think wrong! — I have as much soul as you — and full as much heart! And if God had gifted me with some beauty and much wealth, I should have made it as hard for you to leave me, as it is now for me to leave you. I am not talking to you now through the medium of custom, conventionalities, nor even of mortal flesh: it is my spirit that addresses your spirit; just as if both had passed through the grave, and we stood at God"s feet, equal — as we are!

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