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MARCH Severe Birthday-Related Thirties Panic

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Saturday 4 March 9st (what is point of dieting for whole of Feb when end up exactly same weight at start of March as start of Feb? Huh. Am going to stop getting weighed and counting things every day as no sodding point).

My mother has become a force I no longer recognize. She burst into my flat this morning as I sat slumped in my dressing gown, sulkily painting my toenails and watching the preamble to the racing.

Darling, can I leave these here for a few hours? she trilled, flinging an armful of carrier bags down and heading for my bedroom.

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